Beware of the Beard

"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist."

Okay, it is time again for another video.  This one I find to be very funny.  I don't know how these jokes have made their way into some many entertainment avenues, but they are out there.  If any of you are fans of "The Family Guy" tv show, you may have seen this already, and if you are not, it would serve as a testimony that the show is funny. 

I would also challenge anyone out there to try and find a picture of Sir Chuck Norris without a beard.  This Chuck Norris fact is a hard one to disprove.  There might actually be another fist under there.  Enjoy!

Are You Tough Enough?

"They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody."

There isn't really much to say about this one.  The picture says it all.  This is the toilet paper of choice for the man who is made of nothing but steel.  What else could even work.  Of course it didn't do well on the market for the rest of us lowly regular people. 

Chuck Norris vs. Google

This time I am not going to provide the Chuck Norris fact to you outright.  I am going to make you learn this one on your own.  Do not be discouraged, it will be easy to learn and I assure you that you will NOT be roundhouse kicked by Sir Chuck. 

Here is the buildup.  Google is a powerhouse monster that seems to have an answer for every inquiry thrown at it.  It reigns undefeated.  But if it was to square off against Chuck Norris, would it continue to hold it's champion's belt?  There is only one way to find out.

So here is what I want you to do, ready?

1. Open up in a new window the homepage for Google.
2.  Type in the search window:
            Where is Chuck Norris?
3.  Don't hit enter, but click on the search option that says, "I'm feeling lucky"

And.....(insert drumroll here)....the winner is...(intensify the drumroll, and add a little cowbell, why not)...

Chuck Norris!!!

The Emotions of Norris

"Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.

Too bad he has never cried."

One of life's greatest ironies is that the greatest actor in history (Chuck Norris of course!) has the smallest range of emotions of anyone known to date. It takes a trained eye to be able to separate the small differences in Chuck Norris' face when his emotions change.

If you don't believe what you see in this highly scientific chart, then go to blockbuster and rent any one of his many blockbusters, and see if he ever makes a face that is different than the one seen above (you may also watch any epidsode of Walker Texas Ranger).

Revolving Door

"Chuck Norris is so bad ass

he can slam a revolving door"

I challenge you to go spend some time at the mall or maybe the workplace, anywhere that has a revolving door.  See if you can slam that sucker at all.  If you aren't certain whether or not you are doing it correctly or not, ask yourself these questions:

        1. Am I Chuck Norris?  If the answer is no, you aren't doing it right.

        2. Is the glass still  intact?  If the answer is yes, you aren't doing it right.

        3. Are others running in fear?  If the answer is no, you aren't doing it right.

I don't want to have a youtube video every post, but this video clearly shows the right way to slam a revolving door.  Because Chuck is so fast, you can't even see him approach the door and go through the actions of slamming the door, but you will know when he does it (and so did the guy who was in it at the time).

The Boogeyman

"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."

Of course little children (and even adults) are always scared that there may be a monster under the bed, or in this case, in the closet.  We have someone come and check these places for us, to assure us that we are alone and safe.  But who checks the Boogeyman's closet when he is scared?  What could be scarier than not being certain whether or not Chuck Norris is in your closet or not?

This video is of Chuck Norris in the hit game Fallout 3 taking down many boogeymen.  It shows just why exactly the boogeyman is scared of Chuck Norris.  WARNING: This is a very violent and graphic game.  REALLY violent, REALLY graphic.

But why......WHY...?

Simple as this, I wanted to have fun with a blog.  I wanted something to make others laugh, but more importantly to make me laugh.  Many of us have heard the classic Chuck Norris jokes, maybe some of us have not.  Each week I will pick one, showcase it, and then do a little something extra with it.  Maybe show some actual facts about it, find a video that relates, who really knows.  Keep in mind, many of the jokes out there can be pretty crude, as with many jokes these days.  I will try to keep it out of the gutter and fairly decent, but as always, enter at your own will.  Enjoy!